Breathe
by louisianthus
Summary: "What we choose to cherish defines what kind of people we are, but whether we choose to regret or accept it will determine our fate"
1. Prologue

Prologue

* * *

Have you ever wondered, why we're attracted to the things we don't understand?

I often wondered about that too.

When that bleak, chilly Sunday came, I thought it would come and go like any other day that came before.

But I was wrong.

 _Terribly wrong._

The date was October 3, powdered snow fluttered down the sky gracefully, everything was covered in a thick blanket of white, from the rooftops to the bare treetops where birds nestled peacefully in their seasonal slumber.

I sat amidst the breathtaking scenery, at that time it was anything but breathtaking. To me, it was nothing but a blank, white, slate, just as my mind had been before.

My blood red irises must have seemed to contrast the whole scenery as I scanned for something of interest. The ambiance was quiet and the people present were little to none, most probably because it was Sunday and they had themselves occupied with whatever had their time.

I was envious, of course, who wouldn't if they were like me, yearning for something I don't even know exists, or even if it did, would it matter to me?

A puff of smoke appeared out of my breathless sigh. It was foolish to stay outdoors in the unforgivable weather even if one couldn't resist its captivating beauty, believe me, it is, but unlike the others, I loved the cold. The way snow melts on your nose at a single touch, the reassurance it brings with every wordless breath, or how everything seems to be frozen in time during its wake.

But do you know what I loved the most?

 _It was how I appeared invisible whenever winter arrived_

And it wasn't because my complexion was deathly white nor my silver hair, no, that's only a bonus.

 _Whenever winter came nobody cared_

Nobody cares because they are too occupied with their lives, full of thoughts of frivolous gifts and extravagant feasts. They neglect the true definition of the icy winter.

It was almost ironic how I found it similar to myself. Forgotten, cold and void of any meaning.

And that's when it happened.

She came in with a stride like a blizzard, her unkempt ginger locks flowed like the Rhine, I did not know her nor did she know me, yet in my three years of consciousness, it was her eyes alone, her vibrant chartreuse eyes that rekindled a dying flame. The first piece in some sort of fucked up jigsaw puzzle. Her eyes twinkled with something I didn't understand at the moment, but before I could even speak a word, she was gone like the fleeting wind.

I was left speechless, tears of which contained both happiness, hope and an inexplicable feeling of remorse.

 _"Ich brauche sehe dich weider"_


	2. Kopfkino

Kopfkino

* * *

Days passed quickly. I did not see her again after that.

I was sitting on a bench in the ghostly square of our town. It was dark and the dim lights of lampposts gave little to none luminance, it was as if all inhabitants had fled the without a trace. The snowfall was heavier than the weeks before and the coat I wore was the thickest in my closet. My ice cold hands were stuffed in the comfort of my pockets, while I buried my face in the hearth-like furnace of my scarf. All of sudden I feel the growing need for warmth when I had grown tolerance for the cold.

It was funny actually time flies, I realized at that time. One moment I had everything in my grasp and the next I have nothing.

And even though I knew that for a very long time, the thought came to my head as soon as a blurred scene reeled out in my mind. It was comparable to watching a movie with a see thin blindfold, but somehow you can still make out what was going on.

The feeling of a soft, warm hand holding mine securely as the person and I run through a grassy field under the morning sun, made my heart skip a beat. The grass tickled my legs even though I thought I was wearing jeans. I could see a pair of glowing emeralds looking right at me gleefully, I couldn't help but smile.

For a moment, I felt complete, nothing else mattered, I could hold on to her hand forever, yearning for the same warmth of that summer day, the light of her mesmerizing green eyes, her heart-melting smile-

And just like that she was gone, in a snap of a finger, just like she did before. The numbing, cold wind had swept her away from my grasp. My breath was drawn from my lungs. My mind was in a fiery duel with my heart, I stumbled to create a coherent train of thought. I didn't know what was going on anymore. Did I even want to know?

Yes.

Just this once, I never wanted to know anything else more than ever.

In my two years of having no recollection of anything, nothing had made my chest swell this much, I couldn't bear to be in the dark anymore, I wanted this. I needed this.

Then I realized.

Why now?

Where was this person when I needed her the most? And why did I only recognize her until now?

There were no pictures no mentions of this woman in whatever belongings I had left.

I began to feel hopeless once more.

Why?

Why did this happen to me?

What did I do wrong?

I began to hit the frozen marble fountain in frustration.

My fists were turning red.

And that's when I heard a voice call out to me.

"Careful Mon ami, you'll hurt yourself"

Then silence.

His tone was cool, like a clear lake on a sunny day. It held concern yet it lacked any other emotion. I could somehow picture his appearance even though my back was facing him.

The stranger had cerulean eyes like the calm sea, his blonde hair was kept in a neat ponytail, it was an unusual hairstyle, but it suited him. He gave off an amiable aura, but towards me, his gaze was cold as the icy wind that bit into my skin.

"Thanks, but don't bother"

The man shook his head, passed by me and sat on the bench where I sat before, I glanced at him with curiosity, expecting some kind of response.

"It's been a long time hasn't it?"

"Pardon?" I stammered, unsure if I understood what he said clearly.

"Why must you be like this Gilbert? And I thought after seven years you might have changed, I guess Elizabeth was right."

I sat down beside him, unsure what to do next. We watched as the snowflakes fell from the night sky. He didn't need to say another word to imply that he knew me, but the fact that that he loathed my existence bothered me the most. Hatred seethed from his every sentence, even though his expression remained stoic.

 _"Just like the sea, ebbing and flowing, unforgiving yet alluring, both of serene and crashing waves."_


	3. Spiegel

Spiegel

* * *

I awoke to the wintry gale rapping at my window, the faint light of the morning sun invading my eyes. Two weeks had passed since October 3, two weeks of agonizing confusion and a raging whirlpool of emotions ransacking my brain.

The time was 8: 45 in the morning, I slipped out of my bed and proceeded to my morning routine. I didn't plan to step a foot outside my door until the blizzard ceased, I just found that as an excuse not to go to work, indulging myself in the calm silence of my apartment, a cup of coffee in hand and a foggy mirror in front of me.

It was funny, I didn't recall polishing it ever since I got out of the hospital, hence why it appeared dull and misty. Hell, I might as well have forgotten about it. I took a damp cloth and wiped it clean. A pair of gleaming ruby red eyes stared back at me blankly, his snow-white hair framed his equally pale complexion, it was me.

And before you ask, no, this was not the first time I saw myself in front of a mirror, that would be absurd, I wasn't born yesterday, and as far as I knew I was 24 at that time.

Only that it seemed so long ago since I saw my reflection, I almost didn't recognise the face in the mirror, it made me realise all the things I've lost and the fact that I may never regain some of them again. It sounded depressing, I know, but it also reminded me of the things that I still have.

For an instance, I remember that the very object in front of me belonged to my Großmutter, who passed away when I was twelve, I remembered baking a cake for the first time, the way it smelled like burnt sugar and wet tears, I remembered the joy I felt when I saw innocent baby blue eyes open for the first time.

But that was all there ever was.

Memories

They held no emotion

No pain

Nor sadness

Not even joy

I remembered how they felt to me in the past

But It seemed so distant from the reality, the present that I live in now.

Just like how the mirror reflected my figure.

I can't see myself the way I used to before.

* * *

A day after, I found out that I was kicked out of my job, the reason being 'they found someone better for my position' not that I cared anyway, It wasn't exactly 'fun' being a grocery store clerk and it didn't even pay me sufficiently, so I considered it a blessing in disguise instead.

So there I was, wandering aimlessly at empty streets freezing my sorry ass off, cold and jobless when I decided to stop by a small restaurant. I just want to go somewhere warm, then I'll go sulking back home.

I ordered something light on my pocket from the consolation payment I got from my previous superior, sooner or later I found myself serving the very thing I ordered that day. Before I knew it, I had a job again, who knew they were actually hiring a waiter?

With my spirits lifted up, I went to treat myself with a (non-alcoholic) drink, even though I was tempted to drink a mug of German beer, nevertheless, I went straight to a small cafe squeezed between two buildings. It was always there, but I never seemed to take interest in it until now.

The scent of cinnamon and coffee wafted around with a sweet aroma that made my mouth water. It was warm and comfortable and sort of resembled a place I've grown to love my whole life. As the bell rang from opening the door, the person behind the counter, greeted me with utmost delight, before turning into a scowl.

"Ah, welcome, Gilbert"

It was him.

The person I met the day before at the square, the man with the soulless eyes who froze with the lakes upon the sight of me.

I didn't know what to say, causing me to stammer like a little schoolboy.

"Thanks, uh, Francis"

"So you do know me" he scoffed placing the cup in his hand on the counter in a noticeable harsh manner, almost as if he was furious at me for saying a word.

Who he was, I did not know, only his name, which was Francis, pinned on his apron and his unmistakable blue eyes who seemed to loathe every fiber of my being.

"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself, you're not even going to apologise are you? it's as if you don't even know me-"

"Stop"

"Just stop"

I stood emotionless with nothing but emptiness between me and him.

I dared not to look at him, not a single glance. My chest swelled with guilt and sadness. He was someone important to me and I knew it the moment his words reached me. But what? What was he to me? The fact that his face was just another of the missing pieces in a puzzle, tore me apart.

I did want to apologize,

I wanted to laugh with him again.

But I can't

"It's because I don't"

"Francis" I paused.

"Could you please tell me what you were to me? Was I a terrible person before? I couldn't seem to remember" my voice cracked, pleading.

He seemed fazed, his eyes were glassy, he turned his back on me and spoke in a softer tone than he did earlier, our silent sobs engulfed the silence that wrapped the room.

"You were a terrible person Gilbert Beilschmidt, and I will never forgive you for what you've done. However, what I was to you I will never tell, and for you to find out"


	4. Forschend

Forschend

* * *

I spent my whole afternoon in my apartment, digging through whatever belongings I had. This wasn't the first time though, much to my dismay, the last one didn't provide me much help and I hoped this one would be more fruitful. Maybe I overlooked some items, I just have to look closer.

There I was laying on my bed holding an aged photograph in my hand. Among many others that I found after cleaning my trashed apartment, this one half-burnt, my guess from an attempt of my past self for some reason, others were scribbled out with a marker or faded beyond recognition.

I stared longingly at the picture I had, it was her. She was younger and so was I, there were several others but they were burned out of the photo. We seem to be attending our freshman year in high school at that period, she wore the brightest smile with sunlit eyes as if it was her happiest time, then there was me, in an awkward pose, unprepared for my picture to be taken.

A small smile crept across my pale, cracked lips. I was happy even though this was the only valuable thing he managed to find, it held more importance compared to the other photos. Besides photographs, I also found a stuffed toy resembling a canary in which I decided to name Gilbird like I knew what to name it the moment I found it, a chest full of art supplies which were most likely useless since it was either dry or brittle to use, yet I kept it anyway, and an absurd pink apron with the quote 'I kiss better than I cook' that was cringy but I laughed it off for reasons I suddenly remembered.

The sun was setting and the sky was painted a lavender hue. Crickets were chirping and the snow began to fall once more, covering the clear sky in its white blanket.

My shift was in an hour, and I had nothing better to do, so I cleaned up the mess I had uncovered earlier that day, and then took a quick shower before heading off to Cerise', the restaurant I worked on.

There was a surprising lack of customers that night for reasons I didn't know. It must have been the weather or it could have been the need to stay home with their loved ones, especially it was nearing Christmas day. It was an envious train of that that I had yet to throw off a mighty cliff in Scotland.

You see, there was no one with me when I woke up that day.

Friends? None

Family or relatives? None

It seemed like none of them existed or they were wiped off the face of the Earth.

I had no one but myself.

And I had to live in constant fear, emptiness, and confusion for the past two years.

Fear because of the things I may never know again because of my lost memories.

Emptiness, because there was no one with me, to be happy nor sad.

Confusion. Confusion because I didn't know who I was before and who am I supposed to be in the present. How am I supposed to pick myself up when I don't know where to start?

Hence these envious thoughts came and ate through my mind.

As selfish and evil as it seems I wanted to tear anyone apart who is happy, so normal.

But it was all in my mind.

For I had yet to search for my way to mend myself back again.

 _"It must be wonderful to feel human again"_


	5. Author's Note

Hello everyone! Thank you for sticking with me so far! If you noticed I haven't spoken as much as much as I did when I wrote in Wattpad (a.k.a as normal fanfiction author would) and the reason behind that is because I'm an awkward turtle. Mostly a shy bean, but I'm really nor good at introductions.

But that's not the point of this A/N, and to be frank, I wanted to thank all of you reading this for following/ having this story in your favorites, even if there's like- what, three or four of you? It's certainly lifts my spirits up a bit! And that I'm terribly sorry for the lack of updates this past month. Usually I update once a week, but my schedule became really hectic as of recent, I hope you understand ;A;

And, one last thing before I go. Would you prefer me adding an Author's note at the beginning/end of every chapter, or would you like me to stay quiet as I've done in the past chapters? I don't want to distract all of you with rantings of my life and keep you from the story, so I never thought of it, but I want to connect with my readers, with you. I don't want to be just a stranger that supplies you with strings of words, I want to know what you guys want to read in my story, I want to you guys to hear how this chapter got written and all the story behind it.

That's all for now, hopefully I'll be able to post something this weekend, sounds good? See you!


	6. Hören

Hören

* * *

It was clear that he wasn't too fond of me, that was very much obvious. However was not about to lose the only person that could help me get back what I lost.

I had come back to the café the day after our confrontation, and as stupid and ignorant as that sounds, I made sure of it that I came back the day after that and the day after that until Francis' got sick of my face and stopped kicking out my stupid ass out if his café that he actually asked me to get some coffee.

Which was exactly what I did on the sunless afternoon of October 14. The skies were postcard white but it wasn't snowing, nevertheless, it was still unbearably cold. I sat from across from the Frenchman, the steam from our warm beverages personally brewed by the owner itself.

I looked at Francis and observed him, his facial features seemed to have softened that when I last saw him, his hair was slightly disheveled and unkempt than his usual hairdo, there were reddish puffy bags underneath his almond-shaped eyes, but what struck me the most was how his azure eyes thawed from the glacial ice that wrapped it, he no longer looked at me in resentment, rather in regret and sympathy, which greatly bothered me now more than ever.

"Gilbert" He called out to me in a soft, barely audible voice.

I turned to face him with a somewhat gloomy expression that I hope he didn't catch.

"Do you remember the day we first met" Francis smiled warmly, then quickly added "Ah of course not, how forgetful of me"

My eyes were glued to the espresso on the table, it sat untouched and steaming as Francis spoke. His words were laced with woe that I almost felt guilty on forcing myself upon him.

"It was the second of November and everything was devoid of colour, the air was frigid and all was wrapped in winter's thick blanket."

"I was watching through the blurry window panes with profound interest, a child no older than me lay outside the unforgiving weather clad in thick winter clothes. His appearance matched that of his surroundings, ghostly pale, except for his eyes that fluttered once in a while, were an inexplicable shade."

"It was me" I muttered.

"Oui, it was. You were so quiet back then, and oh so mysterious." The blonde man chuckled before continuing his tale.

"You were laying flat on your back, covered in a heap of snow, I practically wouldn't have seen you if you did not open your eyes from time to time."

"What was doing there?" I asked eagerly.

"That was exactly what I asked you back then, you only replied "I want to hear it" with a raspy voice. Honestly, I didn't know why I refused the warmth and comfort of my shelter just to speak to you, I never really liked winter, it was so cold and everything was just bland and dead."

"Please continue"

"Desolé, Gilbert. As I was saying, you were there on the ground looking delusional and all, but instead of running back home like a normal person would, I asked: "What does it say?" While sitting closer to you. You said "Listen" so I did, I lay down beside you and closed my eyes."

Silence. The sapphire-eyed male didn't utter a word for a whole minute. It was only me, the steam from the coffee and the muffled sound of the ceiling fan whirring in the background.

I tried to remember, tried to familiarize with the words that came out of Francis' mouth, but there was only emptiness. Nothing but the cold, dark emptiness.

 _Cold_

There was a faint voice.

 _"W...t are...o...do..n...?"_

 _I want to hear it._

I want to hear it so bad, but just like before, everything was bleary- the voice was muted as if I was underwater, the images were mere blotches of light floating in my vision, however the sensation of blistering ice nipping at my skin was clearest of all, it was as if I have never forgotten it at all.

Perhaps...

 _"..ha...do...t..say?"_

 _I just need to listen._

I closed my eyes hesitantly but slowly, the inky black darkness engulfing my vision once more.

* * *

 _Hello Everyone! I'd just like to say that I'm really sorry for the lack of updates even though I know I apologized already. As one of you suggested, I will be talking at every end of a chapter. I look forward to your reactions in the future chapters!_

 _I had a really fun time writing this particular chapter! Gilbo is finally got Francis to stop kicking him out like a lost kitten and we get more memories. I see that some you are catching up! But I have more tricks upon my sleeve, so beware! I would still love to hear your thoughts about it nonetheless.  
_

 _I'll see you in the next chapter! Ciao~_


	7. Freund

Freund

* * *

The floor felt like marble against my back, cold and hard. If weren't for the slight creaks that resounded from time to time, I would have probably mistaken it for a block of ice.

A week has passed since I met Francis. I saw a glint of hope in the abysmal darkness and in the longest while warmth tingled my senses in a way I thought I'll never be able to feel again.

Still it wasn't enough, I couldn't stop now. I've only rediscovered a portion of the unknown seas. Thankfully, I don't have to sail alone anymore.

"I'm no psychologist but I think I would have been a good one don't you think ?" Flaunted Francis while tying back his hair.

I snorted. And sat up from the floor. "Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"You wound me my friend. I see that you still lost your humor along with all those memories. I can't say if that's a good thing or not though"

"Woah, what? Are you implying that I was corny?"

"I'm not implying it, I'm saying it outright"

"Then maybe bumping my head against a car hood isn't that bad after all" I remarked, downing the contents of the canned soda Francis had treated me.

That's right. I was involved in a car accident. A drunk driver and broken brakes. The same old tragedy you'd see on a newspaper headline.

I woke up in a white room with wires sticking out of my arms, my head wrapped in pristine white bandages. Everything was white. It was snowing outside. I've been told of my condition, I was in a coma for a week. I was lucky to be alive.

If I only knew what hell I'll be going through I might as well jumped of the window that night I heard the news.

I was diagnosed with retrogade amnesia, it's a type of amnesia where past memories are lost. They said I had a high chance of recovering, if there was anyone who could help me. The problem is just that. I had nobody and I didn't even know why. All I had were pictures, faded, forgotten faces. They didn't do much help. I tried to cheer myself up by by wondering what kind of person I was before the accident. Was I kind and generous? Conceited? Arrogant? Neutral? Did I play any instruments? What was my job? Have I done anything good in my life?

These were questions that constantly lingered in my empty head. Surely enough I made progress on my own, baby steps as I called it. Eventually I remembered my native tongue, my favorite food. I remembered many things things, but it was all about me. What's the point if they were all about me? I couldn't familiarize myself with all those faces in the yellowed photographs nor the names signed with blotted ink behind them.

They sounded so foreign as they rolled off my tongue.

"Earth to Gilbert. Did I offend you that much? Unbelievable"

"Yeah, you would be a great psychologist Francis" I blurted out.

A genuine smile graced his lips. "Quick to change opinion. What's on your mind mon ami?"

A deep sigh escaped my lungs, almost as if life itself was taken out of me. I opened my mouth but all that came were whispered, words.

"How much longer?" I shook my head, eyes glued to the faded wooden floor. _"How much longer do I have to live like this?"_

"It's been two years Francis… I-I can't even remember my own family! My Family Francis! It's…it's frustrating… _frightening_ , even. What if I can't remember them? What if I forget everyone else again?"

My breath hitched, tears trickled down my face as my eyes stung like needles. I did not want to see his face so I kept my head down. I knew what he looked like, he was pitying me just like everyone else, just like I did to myself every single day of this god forsaken life of mine.

"Gilbert look at me." He spoke, almost as if he was demanding me. Francis' cold eyes at our first meeting flashed in my mind, but all I saw was sympathetic azure irises and they were pleading for me to stop. He didn't say a word, neither did I, but he held my hand tightly, even though his were shaking.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left you that day. I was a bad friend, I didn't think about what you felt, I-I forgot as well. I forgot what you meant to me and if I could turn back time I swear to God Almighty that I won't leave your side and maybe… just maybe, you would be okay, you would be living a happy normal life. Mistakes were made, yes, you did mistakes, but so did I and many others. Mistakes are in the past, and I'd be damned if I say that it didn't haunt me but we can't change them. All we can do is learn from them and you know what? I'm glad that I'm given the chance to repent for how I treated you before even though you may never do the same for me because I forgive you. _I forgive you Gilbert_. I'm going to help you recover, and compensate for my absence when you needed me the most and even if your memories don't come back I'll try, I'll try my very best to give you the life you lost in those two years of darkness"

We spent the next minutes in silence while I held back choked sobs. His words hit me like a speeding freight train, they were all I that I needed all those years. Comfort, reassurance in the future. Now I can see why Francis became my friend.

"I didn't know you were that sappy, geez" A half-hearted laugh escaped my lips as I wiped the tears away.

The frenchman chuckled at my response. "Non, I'm not always like this, you and Antonio always hated it when I get sentimental even more than your stupid jokes!"

Our joyous laughter floated around the room and created a light atmosphere. It was music to my ears, somehow reminding me of the sound a flute would make. It was absurd but an intriguing idea nonetheless.

"Hey. I'm glad you're still here being my friend and all. Thanks."

"You were never good at expressing yourself you know? You don't need to thank me, after all that's what friends are for, right?"

"Tell me what else was I not good at doing. Besides expressing myself of course"

"Standing under tue sun for more than five minutes, that's one" Francis snickered as his eyes practically glinted in mischief.

"Why? Am I a vampire?"

" _Heavens_ _no_ Gilbert. You're an albino, I'm sure the doctors would have mentioned it at least once"

Confused, I recalled a string of sentences the doctors blurted out as soon as they told me I had amnesia.

"A rare disease about the color of my eyes and skin, I think. That's what I heard"

"Well if you put it that way, then yes"

"What does that have to do with my capability to stand under the sun then?!"

It went on for hours, he told me stories, things I thought I'd never hear, slowly rooted itself in my mind. Even though none of my memories were clear enough, they were familiar, almost like deja vu, and most importantly, they were enough to return a piece of me, slowly I was getting back on my feet.

Weeks went by, I frequented Francis' cafe. He would always welcome me with an amiable demeanor, sometimes his wife, Alice ,in which I was shocked that he had one, would let me get free coffee. She insisted it was the least she could do to help with my condition, I gladly obliged. No one could resist free coffee anyway.

On other days he would drop by my apartment and chat with me the whole day like an old lady. Francis would reminisce about the old days along with our friend Antonio, who was a cheery spaniard. He didn't talk much about him though, if he did, his body would stiffen or sometimes he would obviously shift the topic completely. It was suspicious, but I let it off the hook.

Eventually November rolled in with its crisp, even more chiller air. The snow persisted and soon covered the entire landscape in its ephemeral blanket. It was captivating.

All of a sudden I heard unmistakable crunching footsteps from behind. "Daydreaming again mon ami? Or did you remember something?"

"A little bit of both I suppose" my short reply sent a cloud of mist hovering underneath my breath. I fiddled with the tips of the glove I wore that day, it was warm, just the way I like it.

"Mhm. Any news on that new job of yours Gilbert?"

Unsurprisingly I've been fired at my job for the second time at the restaurant because I've been reported to creep people out. Again, absurd, but I really don't care as long as I find another and earn enough go feed myself. Francis suggested that I take on office work, telling me that I've always been good at sorting and writing paperwork, so I did.

"My interview's in three days, to be frank I'm very nervous"

"That's something new. I shouldn't be surprised, times are changing"

"How did the old me react to these kind of situations? I'm curious"

"You were…" Francis paused, possibly thinking for the right words "you take pride in what you do, very enthusiastic. You're never afraid of what's to come" His words came to a halt, lips curved to a frown. If there's something I learned about Francis in the past weeks we've been together is that when there's something bothering him, its always written on his face. There was something that tugged at the back of my head, saying to me that perhaps, there was something he wasn't telling me. I didn't want to believe it, I trust Francis, and even if there was truly something he wasn't telling me, I'm sure he has a good reason not to.

"To be honest I miss him. It's funny how we only see something's value when they're gone. I guess regret will always be greater than gratitude"

A solemn air surrounded the both of us. It was thick and almost suffocating. A part of me agreed with him, a voice inside my head telling me to feel remorseful without knowing the reason why.

I only closed my eyes as the snow drifted from above. I heard the words loud and clear.

 _"Entschluldigung sie. Verzeihen mich bitte"_

* * *

 _Hello Everyone! I'm back! I'm terribly sorry for not updating for a very long while. I really have no excuses this time besides that I was busy with school as many of us are and that a lot of bad things are going on in my life right now but somehow i pulled myself together and wrote this. It's longer than the past chapters, I hope you readers don't mind. I enjoy reading longer chapters so I figured that you might enjoy it as well. Please tell me what you think in the comments, feedback is really appreciated. Thank you for following this story and I'll see you in the next update._


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